Do You Feel Lost In Your Role As A Mother?
Are you a mother who is struggling with her identity? Are you being pulled in so many different directions that it feels like you’ve lost yourself? Perhaps you’re a stay-at-home mom whose every day solely revolves around the wants and needs of your family and your home. Or are you a working mom who is plagued by guilt, worrying that you’re never doing enough at the office or at home? If this sounds familiar, you may feel disconnected from yourself and therefore, disconnected from your spouse or kids.
Every stage of motherhood has its own joys and challenges. For instance, are you recently postpartum and feeling overwhelmed by this joyous but daunting role you’ve taken on? Perhaps your toddler or adolescent has become involved in an increasing number of activities, which has decreased your personal time from little to none. It could be that the atmosphere is getting tense with your teen, leaving you second-guessing your parenting strategies? Or maybe after seeing your accomplished child off to college, you are struggling to navigate an empty nest.
Do you wish you could stop rushing from one task to the next and instead, engage more fully with your family, and really be present? Would you like to learn how to advocate for and take care of yourself while still caring for your loved ones?
Most Moms Feel Pressure To Be Perfect
Despite a slow trend toward more parenting transparency, it can still feel overwhelmingly taboo at any stage for mothers to admit when they’re struggling. A common fear is that if you admit you’re having a hard time as a mom, people may infer that you’d rather not be one, or that you’re incapable somehow. This is obviously not true, and it’s also damaging to mothers. You can of course, love your children above all else and still be concerned by your loss of identity and your inability to be fully present or joyful. In fact, most mothers will feel this way at some point, and not being able to speak openly about it only exacerbates the stress.
Mothers in particular are leaned upon to “do it all.” There is an expectation that you must be present for your partner, keep a nice home, raise successful and respectful children, never slip up at work, and keep yourself looking presentable. It’s an incredible amount of pressure, which society implicitly urges you not to talk about. Whether we’re biologically nurturers or simply socially expected to be, the result is the same: most mothers put themselves on the back burner, so to speak. They prioritize everyone and everything else above their own needs.
It’s easy for mothers, then, to get swallowed by schedules, guilt, and duties. Rather than being truly present, moms can slip into just going through the motions, trying to keep up with all of their responsibilities. The less engaged a mother is with herself, the less engaged she can be with her children, her partner, her job, or her friends. Wouldn’t it feel amazing to be able to reunite with yourself and feel whole, so that you can be truly present in your own life and in your role as a mother? You have the strength to do just that, and a motherhood life coach can help guide you there.
Motherhood Coaching Can Help You Navigate Your Life As A Parent
Postpartum depression is a real and serious issue that you should speak to your doctor about; but you may feel like you’re having a different experience. Often for mothers, coaching makes more sense than therapy, as you may not be dealing with a diagnosable issue but rather the management of pressures. You’re overwhelmed, you feel like you’ve lost yourself a bit, and you’d like to be able to connect to your life and your family more fully. As a coach, I have the experience and understanding to help moms take stock of their successes and pain points, and learn from them both. We’ll consider your emotions, mindset, behavior, and spirit as we work toward a more fulfilled experience.
Even overwhelmed moms often feel a duty to keep their emotions buttoned up; you’re afraid of worrying your child if they see your tears, or hurting their feelings if you have a moment of frustration. As your coach, I’ll provide a safe space for you to finally and fully express whatever emotions you may have been bottling up.
We’ll then observe your mindset and thought patterns. Most moms have a lot of negative chatter and damaging self-talk, which can leave you mentally exhausted. If your child has a temper-tantrum at the grocery store, you may tell yourself that everyone is judging you harshly, and that your bad parenting caused this to happen. Of course, these are harmful untruths we get used to telling ourselves as moms. We’ll identify those triggers that set off the negative chatter and then, work to reframe them in a more positive, accurate light.
Behavior patterns speak to the particular ways you go through your days. Do you move from one task to another, feeling guilty at the end of the day because you didn’t really engage? Or, are you a bit more haphazard and then beat yourself up for forgetting one responsibility or another? As we examine your patterns, we’ll be able to set goals and simplify the solutions. Whether you need help building organizational skills or finding the right exercises for becoming a more present woman and parent, as your coach, I’ll help guide you there.
Our work around your spirit will be about bolstering your self-esteem through self-care, and listening to your intuition. As you become more in tune to your intuition, you’ll not only feel more connected to yourself in the ways you may have been missing, but you’ll feel more confident as a mother. A mother’s intuition cannot be understated, and the more you’re able to connect to it, the less you’ll second-guess your parenting.
You May Be Considering Motherhood Coaching But Still Have Reservations…
I’m not sure I should spend my money on coaching.
It’s normal for mothers to feel reluctant to prioritize themselves; you’re used to putting yourself last. But it is very important that you take time and space for yourself, as a woman and as a mother. The more fulfilled you feel personally, the more engaged you’ll be as a mother, partner, employee, or friend.
I get overwhelmed, but I’m not sure it’s enough of a problem to seek a coach.
Our behavior patterns, if left unexamined, only become more reinforced and ingrained in our lives. The ones that aren’t serving you will only intensify and cause you stress later on. Tuning up your strategies, self-talk, and coping mechanisms now, can set you up for personal and parental success down the line.
I’m interested, but I’m not sure my spouse would support this decision.
A close partnership with your spouse is valuable, but forgoing something you’re interested in because they may not approve, should serve as an indicator that you’re prioritizing their comfort over your wellness. Let that acknowledgment be a motivator for investing in yourself.
You Can Reconnect With Yourself And Feel More Fulfilled As A Person And Parent
If you’re interested in motherhood coaching, please click here to schedule a free 30-minute consultation.